The Garden State is growing mass hysteria due to the New Jersey Drones that have been circling the skies since late November. They’re lighting up and blurring camera lenses on the daily. Officials claim these unidentified drones are  harmless SUV-sized aircrafts manned by tech bros or confused stargazers. (…right…) Conspiracy Theorists, however, point the finger at aliens, spies, or the infamous “Project Blue Beam” theory.  Either way, the armpit of America smells fishier than usual.

Wierd New Jersey has become the nation’s hotbed for the weird skies. Reuters reports mysterious drone sightings with big, bright, buzzing lights hovering over neighborhoods and highways. The FBI drone investigation says they’re “on it,” but we know that’s code for “nothing to see here, people.” (Reuters).

Meanwhile, Homeland Security assures us these objects are “probably just legal aircraft or stars” (New York Post). Stars? Really? I didn’t know Orion’s Belt could fly in formation over a Wawa. But hey, shout-out to Wall Street Journal for confirming the military is quietly poking around because the public isn’t paranoid enough already.

It wouldn’t be the internet without a wild conspiracy theory and these drones have people spinning tales longer than the old guy that held up the line at your grocery store because he was talking to the cashier. Some people believe “Project Blue Beam” has started. This theory suspects the government will fake an alien invasion to unite the world under one fascist government.

Others think foreign spies are afoot— who doesn’t want aerial footage of the New Jersey Turnpike? (New York Post) There are people that believe these drones are the military testing new technology—because exposing secret projects out in the open is a great way to keep things under wraps.

Mass hysteria may be causing the uptick in drone sightings. Someone sees a frisbee and now it definitely has to be E.T. I don’t know about you, but if I were an alien, I’d pick a nicer place to scope out—but do aliens really prefer New Jersey?

And while you’re stress-googling “Project Blue Beam,” let me remind you that no one—no one—actually knows what’s happening. Aliens, government cover-ups, or just Steve from IT testing his new drone—it’s a circus. And New Jersey? It’s center ring.

At the end of the day, whether these drones are government experiments, extraterrestrial beings, or just a way to make sure there are no nuclear warheads on our shoreline, one thing’s clear: no one has a straight answer. Officials shrug their shoulders and fake ignorance, while the conspiracy theorists continue to spiral, and New Jerseyans are left staring at the sky, wondering if they’re extras Independence Day 3: Merry Christmas.

Maybe it’s aliens. Maybe it’s espionage. Or maybe it’s just another weird addition to the Garden State’s already weird story. Either way, keep watching the skies—just don’t let anyone tell you it’s just stars.

 

The Headline Image is A.I. Generated and A.I. technology was used in gathering research for this post.